jesus is still lord? really?

this is a quote i found today at the top of this website when i was googling some lyrics for church this weekend:

"homosexuality is sin. islam is a lie. abortion is murder. and Jesus is still Lord."

wow.

i would like to make an ammendment to the above statement - "Jesus loves homosexuals, Jesus loves islamics (yes, even the militant ones), Jesus holds the mother and the unborn child close in His arms of tender mercy, and Jesus is still the Lord who loves his followers despite how wrong we are 90% of the time."

i'm two steps away from renouncing all ties i have to christianity and calling myself a follower of christian spirituality, a follow of jesus (shout out to donald miller for that redefinition).

how on earth do we expect people to ever know the love of jesus if all we do is shout hate statements at them and each other?

jesus, may your love and truth ring out louder than our judgements.

it's time for a career change (maybe)

yes, i am really posting a blog at 2.01am, and here's why: i just got back from my first ever experience at a piano bar. screw all you suckers that paid upwards of $100 for u2 tickets, i got free admission (did not pay the cover) to a piano bar in blockE downtown and it, was, amazing.

in my stupification (is that a word?) i'm trying to remember all the songs these 4 rotating piano players performed... there were always at least 2 guys playing butt-to-butt baldwins, two guys would switch out of the piano bench and then hop on drums or bass while the other two guys slipped in behind the keys, without missing a note. and then the 2 guys who had just played drums and bass would sit out for an hour whilst the other two 'took over' playing requests, etc. we heard everything from 'highway to hell' to 'i like big butt's/baby got back' to 'living on a prayer' 'everybody's working for the weekend' (yes, this was the song i requested) and 'bohemian rhapsody' (definitely a highpoint).

the way they played that piano had bach rolling in his grave, i'm sure. but it was contagious, passionate, hilarious, fun, funny, creative, energetic, beautiful, amazing. it really was. i need more of that kind of music in my life.

so, look for me at a piano bar someday. i should add that to my list of 'things i desire to do before i die' number 5: play at a piano bar.

getting to know me

at the request of jan, i am going to attempt to share some responses to a few questions that are supposed to help you get to know me. don't know that that is the case, but anyways...

things i desire to do before i die:
(original question said "things i plan to do...", but i think we all know that life is what happens when you're busy making other plans)
1. play another concerto with an orchestra
2. play all of rachmaninoff's preludes
3. be more like jesus than i am presently
4. spend a summer in italy's countryside with my beautiful husband while he paints

things i can do:
1. listen to a recording of me playing moskowski's piano concerto in C#minor
2. play 4 rachmaninoff preludes
3. listen to jesus and try to be more like him
4. spend my summers loving my husband and my furry companions (read: brittany spaniels)

things i cannot do:
1. pretend i'm something i'm not
2. fly in an airplane unmedicated or sober
3. walk on water
4. eat sushi

things that attract me to my husband:
1. the fact that he never intentionally could hurt any creature, not even insects. if we find an insect in the house, he carries it outside in his cupped hand while i scream "kill it". he will not. and i love him for it.
2. he puts up with me and my craziness
3. he understands
4. he is so patient
5. he is beautiful
6. he is hilarious
7. i occasionally 'catch' him dancing with the dogs when he thinks i'm not home. anyone ever seen the movie 'babe' and rememer the part where the farmer danced with the pig in order to make him well? i always wanted to marry someone who would "dance with the pig", and i did.

modern "celebrity" "crushes"
(like tonya, i am changing it to 'modern celebrities to admire', and i'm holding the term celebrity very very loosely)
1. bruce springsteen (all i have to say is 'born to run' and any woman with a pulse should understand)
2. bono (he sings like he's trying to save his life, as though the fate of the entire world depends on how passionately he can involve himself in the music. that sort of passion ought to be contagious)
3. tori amos (i really can't describe this in words)
4. jonathan veenker (i've never known anyone who can put his heart into music like he does, with such humility)
5. anne lamott (see #4)
6. trey anastasio (one of the only performers i've ever seen who actually enjoys himself and has fun playing music for his fans)

ancient celebrity crushes:
1. johann sebastian bach (how did he do that?)
2. sergei rachmaninoff (how did he do that?)
3. sergei prokofiev (he knows how to light a piano on fire like none other)

people i want to answer these questions:
1. jennifer leigh
2. beth ann
3. matthew troy
4. scott madison
5. judy haugen

nostalgia runs rampant in pop culture

i've noticed lately that in almost every genre of music that i listen to (rock, pop, country, r&b, the list goes on and on... and on...) someone somewhere is singing about the town they grew up in and how it's not the same anymore, or the people they grew up with and how they've changed. from trisha yearwood...
"screen door flapping in the wind
same old house i grew up in
i can't believe i'm back again
after all these years away...
the georgia rain on a jasper county clay
couldn't wash away the way i love you to this day
the old dirt road's paved over now
nothing here is the same
except for the georgia rain"

maybe this has always been a popular theme in song writing, or maybe it's just that i'm presently paying attention to it. when i traveled back to massachusettes for my grandma's funeral (see post 'to leone'), i was overwhelmed with memories of my childhood. and now that my grandma is gone, i have no ties to the places i spent a majority of my formative years.

when i moved to minnesota in '96 for college, i wasn't running away from anything. at least, i don't think i was running, but i don't think i ever even looked back. i was very much done with that season of my life. even now, i very rarely think about the town i grew up in (cornwall, ny) or the places i spent most of my childhood summers (queen lake, ma; monadnock bible camp, nh; pilgrim pines, nh). i figured those places would always be there for me to pick and choose when i would acknowledge their place in the weaving of my history. the whole time i was in massachusettes, i kept thinking 'this is the last time i'll drive on this road'... 'this is the last time i'll be at this lake'... 'this is the last time i'll see this house'. it was a lot more painful for me than i ever expected it to be. add to that the fact that my parents are nearing retirement age and will soon leave the house i grew up in. i hope i can learn to say goodbye before i am forced to again...

"this is where i grew up
i think the present owner fixed it up
i never knew we ever went without
the second floor is hard for sneakin’ out

remember the old arcade
blew every dollar that we ever made
the cops hated us hangin’ out
they say somebody went and burned it down

we used to listen to the radio
and sing along with every song we’d know
we said someday we’d find out how it feels
to sing to more than just the steering wheel

every memory of looking out the back door
i had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
it’s hard to say, it’s time to say it
goodbye, goodbye
every memory of walking out the front door
i found the photo of the friend that i was looking for
it’s hard to say, it’s time to say it
goodbye, goodbye

i miss that town
i miss their faces
you can’t erase, you can’t replace it
i miss it now
i can’t believe it
so hard to stay, too hard to leave it

if i could relive those days
i know the one thing that would never change

look at this photograph
every time I do it makes me laugh
every time I do it makes me..."

the year was nineteen-ninety-six (this post is pointless, only read if you're bored)

in anticipated celebration of my 10 year highschool reunion which is supposed to be happening this spring (but if things shake down in typical highschool fashion as i experienced it, i won't be invited because let's face it, i never was part of those reindeer games), i have decided to list a few of the songs that made ''the top 100 of 1996'. below are the songs that i actually remember turning up when they came on the radio. consider this my way of letting you in on my embarrassing past.

One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men
Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey
Tha Crossroads, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
Twisted, Keith Sweat
C'mon N' Ride It (The Train), Quad City Dj's
California Love, 2Pac
Loungin, LL Cool J
Be My Lover, La Bouche
Name, Goo Goo Dolls
Counting Blue Cars, Dishwalla
You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette
One Of Us, Joan Osborne
Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio
Sweet Dreams, La Bouche
1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin' New), Coolio
No Diggity No Doubt, BLACKstreet (Featuring Dr. Dre)
1979, The Smashing Pumpkins
Champagne SuperNova, Oasis
Woo-hah!! Got You All In Check, Busta Rhymes
Doin It, LL Cool J
Just A Girl, No Doubt
My Boo, Ghost Town Dj's
Get Money, Junior M.A.F.I.A.

wanna remember what songs were popular when you graduated? go here and in the search function, type your graduation year.

blogger, reveal thyself!

alright, so i guess enough of us are blogging now that it has warranted a public gathering, of sorts.

so, if you want to meet face to face with the people who post, compose, and read within the blogosphere, there is a meeting of the minds occuring on sunday the 25th. go to the timbu blog for details...

so long anonymity, the rides' been nice...

a loose haiku: to the honkers outside my window

honkers (read canadian geese)

i wonder if you've forgotten your chevron formation
because i see you still out there on the pond
the water must be getting cold by now
brrrrr, your feathers

i wonder if you'll be back again next year
when spring finds it's way back around
one thing is for sure, you bird
i won't miss seeing your poop on the ground
brrrr, your feathers

so take to flight, oh bird of the summer
find your way to a warmer home
i hear miami's nice this time of year
brrrr, your frozen daquiri on the beach

imposing october

the light and scent of the earth is changing. the days grow shorter as they fight to share these twenty-four hours with the night. we now begin greiving the days of hot sunshine, lemonade, lazy lake floating, and humid hikes. in its stead come crimson leaves falling through a crisper air, a cool afternoon exploring an orchard of apples, a stroll through a patch of pumpkins, and the warmth of pulling that first sweater of the season over your head.

for those of you who know me, i do not need to tell you that halloween is my favorite holiday. i know it's a bit dark, but i can't help it. i have ever-increasing fond memories of the holiday from my childhood. every single year, my mom took us trick-or-treating, and every next years' costume far surpassed the previous'. with the help of my mother, i threw a halloween party in 8th grade that people are still talking about TO THIS DAY (i'm serious... i occasionally hear from high school friends who will occasionally mention the party). the list of things i have disguised myself as in celebration of halloween are endless... the list follows, in no sequential order

~a witch
~punky brewster
~a hobo
~a ghost
~cindy lauper
~a paddidle (yes, a car with one headlight)
~a christian (don't blame me, i was in highschool. i think my hyper-evangelical youth pastor was trying to cure me of my love for halloween, so he suggested i dress up as a 'christian'. now, what, exactly, would that costume look like? i did suffer a breif departure from my love affair with the holiday, but upon awakening from my evangelical-sub-culture-induced slumber, i realized that loving halloween is, contrary to KTIS and Northwestern Bookstore, not a sin!!! departing soap box now...)
~a slightly inebriated female (was that a costume?)
~darlene zschech (pronounced 'check', as in darlene 'check me out')
~david crowder

below, i leave you with a lyric that will warm your heart and send you running to the kitchen for the pumpkin carving tools and candy corn.

John's Garden by Peter Mayer

Farmer John wandered back
When he reached the pumpkin patch, he began to speak
He said, "The weather's getting colder
Summer's over and it's almost Halloween
That's the day, the reason you were raised
When everything about your life will change

You will have eyes to see
And for that night, you'll be a bright lamp burning in the darkness
But remember that candle shines for only the briefest time
In a jack-o-lantern's heart"

The pumpkins held a meeting then
Some were very apprehensive and afraid
"Could this really happen to us?"
"What could be the meaning?" is what they were saying
"This is home, it's all we've ever known."
Then one bold, outspoken pumpkin spoke

He said,"I don't need eyes to see, it sounds like a lie to me
I like it just fine here in John's garden
And remember that candle shines for only the briefest time
In a jack-o-lantern's heart."

There is much to ask and to ponder in the pumpkin patch
When imposing old October shows up at last

Then a pumpkin from the farther end
Who had been silent up 'til then
Over the commotion, said "What would you rather have my friends?
A chance to shine, or die here on the vine?
The better way seems very plain to me...

You will have eyes to see
And for that night, you'll be a bright lamp burning in the darkness
So maybe that candle shines for only the briefest time
In a jack-o-lantern's heart
Oh, but one goblin's smile should make it all well worth while
You know you might even see the starlight
And knowing that time is brief makes it that much more sweet
When you have a jack-o-lantern's heart."

ingredients: cake

here's all i'm'a'gonna say.

i had lunch today at quiznos. before leaving, i made sure to pick up one of their double-chocolate super-sinful brownies, pre-wrapped for "my" convenience, because let's face it, it's just a chocolate sort of day.

anyways, i just pulled it out of my bag to munch it down. i turned it over to read the ingredients, and here's what i saw:

INGREDIENTS: cake...

wow, thanks. i feel so much better knowing that there is CAKE in my BROWNIE. hello, if i wanted cake, i'd go buy cake. would it really be that ridiculous to say that the #1 ingredient for a brownie would be, um, brownie?

alas, what has this world come to?