mark it zero

in the old testament, people often times would mark their bodies as an intentional, physical reminder of something they were trying to leave behind, or someone they were trying to become. a physical representation of an intentional choice to change.

tonight, i took a friend to get her nose pierced, and while at this beloved piercing parlor, i asked to look at some different options for my eyebrow ring. and the kind yet overtly pierced "piercing expert" informed me of some terrible news. apparently, my body has begun the process of 'rejecting' my eyebrow ring. this means that it is 'migrating' and will probably fall out sometime in the next month or so.

gross.

and very sad.

i got this peircing at a time when i was extremely exhausted from trying to fit myself into a corporate hole that i would never fit into. i was exhausted, yet extremely grateful to be able to put in my two weeks notice at said corporate job and begin a chapter in my life where music would be a part of every day. that was 5 years ago. the eyebrow ring was a celebration, a release, a physical marking. and now, i have to take it out.

this seems like some sort of weird omen, or sign. of what i'm not sure, but it bears paying attention to.

my immediate reaction tonight in the piercing parlor was to pierce something else, almost to spite my body for doing it's job of rejecting this foreign object that has migrated dangerously close to my eye. but i decided, on the gentle prodding of my friend and husband, to wait and think about it. i'm glad i did. if i do decide that inserting a foreign metal object into my cranium is indeed something i want, i want it to be a marking of sorts, the beginning of another chapter. and i'm just not sure that i'm there yet.

so for now, i bid a tearful goodbye to the eyebrow ring that has been with me for 5 years, and await the next chance i get to begin again, to change all over again, to mark myself again