the work of church

working at a church can be confusing. it can rip you apart. it pries you open and forces you to ask the question "am i really following Jesus in this meeting, or in this strategic plan, or in this restructuring..." you hope against all reality that you are, and that you are looking more like Him in your everyday-ness of life. but sometimes the hope of that seems bleaker than the reality of days filled with meetings and formulas.

yet i feel called to be here. and i know i have fight in me. a joan of arc. a warrior daughter. a deborah walking into the tent, sword drawn, piercing the unknown until what remains is the luminescent face of my King, illuminating me to shine forth His truth. His bride is beautiful and worth fighting for.

so i look for some help and hope elsewhere. i look in a hymnal. ahh, there it is...

"o Love that will not let me go
i rest my weary soul in Thee
i give back to You this life I have
that in the roar of Your waterfall
it's flow may ever fuller be

o Light that illumines all my way
i yield my fainting torch to Thee
my heart resigns its borrowed ray
that in the blaze of Your Sonlight
it's flame may brighter be

o Joy that seeks after me through pain
i cannot close my heart to Thee
i trace the suns rays thru the clouds
i know Your promise is not vain
that the morn shall tearless be

o Thy Cross that lifts up my head
i dare not ask to fly from Thee
i lay in dust, life's glory dead
and from the ground there blossoms
a life birthed from hope in Thee"