what, on earth, is next?

i purchased a shirt yesterday at delia's, and in return received a candy bar.

yes. i'm serious.

i signed the receipt, and the very-smiley-way-too-skinny girl behind the register offered me my choice of 'crunchy', or 'peanut butter'. i looked at her sideways, thinking that this was some sort of mean trick she plays on fat bottom girls. but when she kept smiling at me, i realized she was serious and just doing her job. so i chose 'crunchy' (who wouldn't?) and went on my chocolate-induced blissful way.

whose "brilliant" idea was this?

i wish someone at super america would offer me a new pair of jeans when i pay for my candy bar. i'd like my choices to include 'low rise', or 'don't-leave-your-house-with-these-on' illegally low rise.

maybe we could start doing this at church. whenever someone raises their hands in worship, a twix from heaven could fall into their open palm. this would be perfection.

so thank you delia's. fashion and chocolate never tasted so good together. except for the time i put a rolo in the back pocket of my khaki's and then got into the microwave...