new dannon flavor: bowels on the bottom

the scene is this: a college dorm room, one girl dressed up, ready to go out. she invites her roommate along for the frivolity. said roommate is in sweats, studying, with plates of food in front of her, running the gamut from pizza to ramen noodles. roommate says she can't go out because she's bloated from eating bad food. dressed-up-girl shakes her head with a smile and says "you need to eat some dannon activa", which, based on the information i got on the commercial, is a new dannon yogurt "proven" to "regulate" your digestive system in two weeks.

i just threw up in my mouth a little bit, thinking about eating yogurt everyday for 2 weeks. this offers no immediate help whatsoever. i have a better, more immediately gratifying plan for sweaty-bloated-roommate...

vodka.

a few shots and you won't even remember you were bloated. perfect.

my proposed new dannon flavor: vodka on the bottom.