are these treadmills reserved for coordinated people only?
i decided to go to gym today, to keep up on my ever-increasing inability to use any of the machines at this gym with any grace or poise whatsoever. so usually i do one of those trendy resistance machines, or i go for a swim (a pool is pretty easy to understand). but i was feeling extra saucy today and decided to go for a run on the treadmill to nowhere . yeah, you can guess that this story is about to go downhill rather rapidly.
all was going perfectly well, i was listening to my del amitri and jogging like any normal person, i think. i mean, what's "normal" jogging? let's face it... if god made us to jog, he would've put tennis shoes on our feet instead of skin, and we would've come standard with sports bras. anyway, i digress...
so i don't have one of those trendy i-pod thingees, or an arm-strapped walk-man. all i gots is my ghetto circa-1998 personal CD player. treadmills don't come with a ghetto personal CD player holder. so i had the CD player delicately balanced on the top of the treadmill. i know, a bad idea in hindsight, but at the time, it seemed an ingenius solution. well, once i started speeding away and running to nowhere at a very intense speed, the CD player lost it's balance and fell. on it's way to the floor, the CD player caught the 'emergency stop cord', which brings the treadmill to a grinding halt with no warning, and sends the jogger directly to the floor in a chin plant. so, this is what proceeded to happen to me. fine. no big deal. honestly, i've done more embarassing things. so i looked at the two incredibly in-shape people on either side of me, the dude to my left was trying to pretend that nothing was going on on my treadmill, and the guy on my right let out a little chuckle. so i leaned over and said "so these treadmills are reserved for coordinated people only, eh?" and he replied "um, not really. they're not that hard". eh hem.
so a few minutes later, yeah. it happened again. the cd player went cliff jumping off the top of the treadmill, pulling the emergency cord, sending me to my face on the convayer-belt-esque treadmill. this time, the dude on my left just walked away and went to another treadmill. the guy on my right said "you really have to stop doing that", in a tone that said "i am waaayyyyy too good-looking and in shape to be working out next to this uncoordinated lady..." i replied "well, i'd stop doing it, if i was doing it on purpose..."
and i kept running.
it's fun to be a klutz.
all was going perfectly well, i was listening to my del amitri and jogging like any normal person, i think. i mean, what's "normal" jogging? let's face it... if god made us to jog, he would've put tennis shoes on our feet instead of skin, and we would've come standard with sports bras. anyway, i digress...
so i don't have one of those trendy i-pod thingees, or an arm-strapped walk-man. all i gots is my ghetto circa-1998 personal CD player. treadmills don't come with a ghetto personal CD player holder. so i had the CD player delicately balanced on the top of the treadmill. i know, a bad idea in hindsight, but at the time, it seemed an ingenius solution. well, once i started speeding away and running to nowhere at a very intense speed, the CD player lost it's balance and fell. on it's way to the floor, the CD player caught the 'emergency stop cord', which brings the treadmill to a grinding halt with no warning, and sends the jogger directly to the floor in a chin plant. so, this is what proceeded to happen to me. fine. no big deal. honestly, i've done more embarassing things. so i looked at the two incredibly in-shape people on either side of me, the dude to my left was trying to pretend that nothing was going on on my treadmill, and the guy on my right let out a little chuckle. so i leaned over and said "so these treadmills are reserved for coordinated people only, eh?" and he replied "um, not really. they're not that hard". eh hem.
so a few minutes later, yeah. it happened again. the cd player went cliff jumping off the top of the treadmill, pulling the emergency cord, sending me to my face on the convayer-belt-esque treadmill. this time, the dude on my left just walked away and went to another treadmill. the guy on my right said "you really have to stop doing that", in a tone that said "i am waaayyyyy too good-looking and in shape to be working out next to this uncoordinated lady..." i replied "well, i'd stop doing it, if i was doing it on purpose..."
and i kept running.
it's fun to be a klutz.
posted by Anonymous at 9:44 PM
4 Comments:
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oops, i deleted my other comment...anyway you had me laughing out loud. you're just hilarious. :)
You are so precious. What makes you so great is that when something like this happens you just “press in” to it. Try, try again. There is no run in you…in more ways than one.
-scotty potty #2 ugh!
on running to nowhere at the start of 2005: I am falling off the blog treadmill repeatedly as I, not anonymous but actually YOURMOM, try to post some profound thoughts NOT MINE but instead those of KING GEORGE VI as he spoke to his British subjects in the critical days of WW II....and it seemed to fit, running headlong as we are into this new year...here goes: "I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year 'Give me a light that I may tread* safely into the unknown'.. and He said to me 'go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than a light and safer than a known way' "
*tread...treadmill....perfect. I love you...mom
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